Celebrity namesakes

Seven of my menagerie of stuffed animals are named after people from some of my favourite bands. I have cats named John, Paul, George, and Davy, a dog named Keith, a tiger named Roger (after my first Roger, Daltrey), and a huge stuffed frog named Simon, who takes up half my bed. But those are normal names that don’t scream famous namesake. Also, I only used the names on stuffed animals, not children.

The Top 1000 in the U.S. has filled with names which obviously were only used because of some celebrity or his or her offspring. Names you never heard before, names which the average person would immediately associate with a rapper, some “reality” TV star, a teen idol, a TV character, or a celebrity baby. Even names which aren’t on the Top 1000 have been sighted in birth announcements.

I always get suspicious and am very inclined to call BS when a lot of people suddenly start claiming they always loved a name that didn’t even exist or was barely known until 5-10 years ago, or it only came into the limelight because of a celebrity. There’s no other logical reason for the presence of names in the Top 1000 like Carys, Bentley (whose repugnant, orange-skinned, famewhore mother Maci needs to realise her 15 minutes are up), Brooklyn, Aaliyah, Khloe, Xander, Trinity, Ashton, Chandler, Beckham, Reece, Lorelai (the misspelling used on Gilmore Girls), Meadow, and Bristol.

If you’re going to name a child after a celebrity, I’d recommend naming him or her after someone whose fame has stood the test of time, not someone who’s only been famous for 5-10 years or who’s already a has-been. For example, Lennon, Greta, Elizabeth, Shirley, James, Rudolph, Jerry, Daltrey (I have a female character by this name), Ray, Aretha.

It’s a bad sign if a name makes someone laugh or smirk, with the thought, “Yeah, I know who your parents liked!” I couldn’t stop laughing when there was a maybedaddy on Maury named Duran some years back. I’m guessing he was born around 1983? Why couldn’t his mother have just named him after her favourite bandmember instead of making his namesake so hilariously obvious?

He was actually one of the relatively rare Nice Guys on Maury, and thankfully didn’t get a brutal screwing over like most Nice Guys on the show. His fiancée Melissa wasn’t even a cheating whore like most babymamas; she went to a party, was drugged, and woke up with a terrific headache, blood running down her legs. When their daughter Audrey was four, she finally confessed what happened. I was so happy the dirtbag rapist wasn’t the daddy!

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